Sleepless Night
by GleeSavedMe
Summary: There is a reason Gabriela Dawson doesn't like Shay's ex girlfriend Clarice, and until today, she didn't even know it herself. Shawson one-shot "Because part of you knew. Because part of you was still trying to fool you by telling yourself that you were into Matthew Casey, while the other part of you knew why you were so worried about Shay and Clarice getting back together."


_A/N: Okay uhm so I'm supposed to do my history homework right now, but uhm yea lets just say I got a little distracted and wrote a Shawson one-shot instead. This story is set after 1x04. It's not really long, and it's probably not really good either. But I wanted to share anyway, because maybe there are people out there that do like it. And maybe there are people out there just like me, that are desperately looking for a new Shawson fanfiction. So uhm yeah, I hope you enjoy this one-shot! And plaese let me know what you think by reviewing, I love criticism._

_Disclaimer: I don't own the show, nor it's characters. All television shows, movies, books, or any other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners_

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**Sleepless night**

It's already pretty late. You've been in bed staring at your ceiling for over an hour already. You kept tossing and turning, but for some reason you just can't fall asleep. You can't stop thinking about it. You can't stop thinking about her, about them actually. When you and your partner Shay had responded to this call earlier today, you had expected everything, everything except this. And now when your shift was over, and both Leslie and you were home it kept going through your head. You had no idea why the heck this was bother you so much. I mean it wasn't like it was your ex girlfriend you had seen at the scene. But yea, here you are wide awake at 3am, thinking about your partner's ex girlfriend. Thinking about how you had to peel Shay of the floor after that woman broke her heart. Thinking about everything you could do to make sure you would never have to see Shay like that ever again.

A few minutes went by, and you had forced yourself to think about something else than Shay and Clarice, anything, really it didn't matter. But after a only a few minutes you found yourself worrying about it again.

You had seen Clarice handing a paper to Shay in the back of the ambo. And right then you already had known what it was, her phone number. You couldn't believe it, her husband was sitting right next to her, and even though you had been driving you had managed to get a glimpse of Shay's face. She had looked so fragile, like she could break any second. You wanted to pull over, get in the back of the ambo and give her a hug, tell her it was going to be fine. But you couldn't, so you kept driving. Because the sooner you got rid of Clarice, the sooner you hoped Leslie could move on from seeing her ex girlfriend again. Because not only was Clarice married to a dude, she was also 7 months pregnant. When the two of you had arrived back at the station, you had made some comment to the boys about Clarice being knocked up and married to a dude, trying to bring it as a joke, and lighten the mood a little. But when you saw Shay's hurtful face you immediately regretted what you had done. This wasn't a joke to her, this was her real life. You felt stupid for saying anything to the boys, and when you wanted to apologize to her later that day you found her with her phone and the note with Clarice's number on it in her hand. You sighted, you knew this was going to happen when you had seen Clarice handing Shay the little paper in the back of the ambo. And you knew you had to stop her, stop her from doing something stupid. Stop her from getting her heart broken all over again. And when Shay told you she only wanted to get her records back, you promised her you would buy her a new set. Because you know that would keep her from calling Clarice. Or well, at least for now…

And that's when you shot straight up in your bed. What if Shay would call Clarice anyway? You knew Clarice was Shay's first real love, and from your own experience you knew you would forgive your first love anything, so Shay probably would too, right? What if she would call Clarice, and that woman would break her heart again? Only the thought about how you had found Leslie the last time Clarice had broken her heart, made you want to run over to Shay's apartment and do whatever it took to keep her from calling. You looked at the digital clock that was standing on your nightstand. It was only 4 in the morning. There was no way, you could go over to Shay's apartment right now. So you lay down again, and continued staring at the ceiling. Trying to fall asleep, knowing it was a failed attempt.

Why did you care so much about this? Why couldn't you just be frustrated by the fact that Casey hadn't spoken more to you than necessary today. Or that he was still with his annoying girlfriend Hallie, who was actually really nice. Why couldn't you be frustrated about how he would never look at you the way he would look at her. Because part of you knew. Because part of you was still trying to fool you by telling yourself that you were into Matthew Casey, while the other part of you knew why you were so worried about Shay and Clarice getting back together.

You get out of bed, knowing there is no way you will catch any sleep tonight. You walk over to the kitchen where you make yourself a cup of tea. You have no idea how long you have been sitting there, or how long you have been staring out the window. You look over to the clock, unsure of what to do. It's was still really early, but you can't hold it any longer. You grab your keys, your purse and your coat and you sprint out of your apartment building. You're not thinking straight and you have no idea how you managed to get through Chicago's busy early traffic without getting hit by a car or cause an accident yourself, but you do. You park your car in front of her apartment building, and look at the little digital clock on your car dashboard. It reads 5:44, you stay in your seat for a second longer, doubting if you should go in. If you go in now, Shay will probably still be asleep. You try to imagine Shay opening the door in her pajamas with her sleepy head, a sleepy smile showing on her face once she realizes it's you on the other side of the door.

And that's when it hits you. You aren't just here to tell her you don't want her to get back with Clarice. You are here because you want to be the one that's waking up next to her sleepy face every morning. You want to be the one making her breakfast and give her a sneak peck on the lips while you're cooking. You want to be the one Shay can't stop thinking or talking about. But most of all you want to be the one having Clarice's old place as Leslie's girlfriend.

You knock on her door twice. It's not really loud, but you're pretty sure it's loud enough for Shay to hear. Your heart starts to beat faster as seconds went by and nothing happens. You knock again, louder this time. And you can hear a raspy voice coming from the other side of the door. "Yea, yea, I'm coming!" And you realize it's Shay's morning voice, you can't help but notice how sexy her voice sounds on this hour of the day. You wait and a few seconds later the door swings open, you find Shay standing there, in nothing but a t-shirt and some panties. She looks at you, surprised to find you on her doorstep. It's not like the two of you swing by each other's apartment on this hour of the day on daily basis, so you understand.

"Gabriela? What are you doing here, is everything okay?" She asks in the same raspy voice as she tries to get the sleep out of her eyes. She sounds concerned, you can't blame her. You would be concerned too if someone was knocking on your door at 6am.

"Don't do it." You say, before you really realize what you're actually saying. You had repeated what you wanted to say so many times in your head, but now that you're actually standing here everything you wanted to say seemed to disappear. You know you're not making sense. You're not even making sense to yourself, so how the hell would must Shay understand what you mean.

"What?" She asks a little confused. You can see that she is just awake, her eyes are smaller than they usually are, and the little yawn she let just out, proves she is still tired.

"You can't get back together." You say. "Clarice. You can't get back together with her." You repeat, your voice sounding a little more sure the second time. "It's just, you…" You don't know what you were trying to say and everything you did say seem to come out wrong. You were pretty sure Leslie had no idea what you were doing or trying to say, and to be honest neither did you.

"Gabriela what's going on?" She asks you. You are both still standing on her doorstep, not bothering to move.

"I just- When she broke up with you- It's just. I can't go back to that again. I don't ever wanna see you like that again Shay." You say. "When she broke your heart, you were so lost and I didn't know what to do. And I'd do anything to never see you like that again. It's just…" You can't finish your sentence, and you are kind of ashamed by it but you just started sobbing in the middle of your sentence. You, Gabriela Dawson just started sobbing over a girl, that was a first.

Shay looks you in the eye, and you could tell that she was really feeling for you. "Aw baby." She said really soft, barely loud enough for you to hear, before she wraps you in a hug. This is stupid, here you are crying on your partner's doorstep, while really you should be the one comforting her. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm so sorry." She speaks, while she tries to comfort you by rubbing circles over your back. You want to tell her that she never has to be sorry, that you're always going to be there for her no matter what. That you would do it all over again if you had to, that you just don't want to see her suffer like that again. But as you try to speak, no words seem to come out, So you just nuzzle your nose deeper in her neck. In a flash you can see Severide coming down the stairs, probably wondering what woke him up so early in the morning. But once he sees the two of you standing at the door, he rushes back upside.

Shay takes a step back, and breaks the hug between the two of you. "I'm not going back to her, I promise." She says in a sweet voice. You smile, glad to know that Clarice is not going to break your partner's heart again. She looks at you from head to toe. Those piercing blue eyes locking with yours before she speaks up. "That wasn't the only reason you came here at 6 in the morning, was it?" She asks. It takes you a little of guard that she can read you so well, but you take a deep breath and shake your head. "No." You whisper. She looks you in the eye, waiting for you to continue, but you're scared of what to say next. What if she doesn't feel the same? Or worse, what if she will be offended by it? Your brain is racing like a maniac, and even though you're really scared you know you have to tell her. You know that if you don't it will get in the way of your friendship. You'd rather have her not talking to you for a few days than not being able to look her in the eye for the rest of your life, because you feel like you're lying to her. So you take another deep breath before speaking. "I think I'm so against you getting back together with Clarice, not only because she broke your heart and I was there to pick up the pieces, but also because part of me-" You stop talking, you're scared. Scared to continue, scared to say aloud how you feel. But when Shay takes a step closer to you, encouraging you to continue, you do. "Because part of me wants to be with you. I was so scared to admit it to myself, and I tried so hard to push this feeling away. But I don't want you to get back with Clarice, or get together with another girl, because I want you. I like you Leslie Shay, I like you so very, very much. And I know you probably won't feel the same, but I had to tell you, because I can't pretend like I don't love you anymore." And before you can wait for a response, you feel Shay's soft pink lips on yours, sending a shiver all the way down. It feels like you're in a rollercoaster and your stomach just made a flip, but it feels good, so good. You can feel Shay placing her hands on either side of your face, deeping the kiss and you wish you could be like this forever.

A few moments later the two of you break apart. A giggle escapes your throat, and you feel like you can finally breathe again. You look at Shay who seems to be staring at the floor unsure of what to say or do. You place your hand under her chin, and lift her head up until her beautiful blue eyes are meeting yours. "Don't look away." You whisper shy. You know ethnic people don't blush, but right now you're pretty positive you do anyway.

"I waited so long." Shay says, her voice sounding so soft, that you're not sure if you heard her right. But the shy smile on her face tells you you did. You're a little surprised, you had no idea that Leslie ever thought about you like that, or looked at you the way she does right now, like you are everything she ever wanted. "You did?" You ask unbelievable.

"I love you. I always loved you." And before you can say it back, her lips are on yours again. Kissing you like they were only made to fit with yours.


End file.
